It is important to realize and accept that not all days are equal. Good days and bad days are part of life. Some days you will be the best person out
there, have the best exercise, eat the healthiest food and stay within the number of calories on your eating plan. Other days you will be the exact opposite, and you will not be the best person out there; not even close. This does not mean you are bad, loser, or failure. It is just another variable. It is what defines you as a human being.
What makes a difference though is how you cope with these “not so good” days. Thus, it is crucial to learn to identify the patterns when these days hit you. Do not dwell on them and understand that they will pass, like any storm. Make a mental note on these days to try harder to do better the following day. Even then, if you did not achieve the goal you set for yourself, do not despair. Acknowledge you have tried, and this in itself is worth a lot. Celebrate every time you try harder, even if you slip, instead of hitting yourself on the head for failing to live up to the standards of others. It is important to be kind to yourself. Hug yourself and give it a pat on the shoulder. Keep accomplishing small wins that eventually lead to big success. Keep shedding small layers of fat, the grams add up, and down the road, you will inevitably see results.
Once you break the barrier of perfection, you will accept yourself as a human being and embrace your shortcomings. You will like your reflection in the mirror, instead of standing in front of it despising your image and fantasizing about cutting your body fat off. Once you reconcile self-acceptance, you can improve and grow without beating yourself up.
I had to go full circle to understand that I do not have to be in my best shape every day, and it is okay to be out of shape sometimes. I came not only to realize, but also to accept there are ups and downs, and as with everything else in life, weight and staying in shape is never constant, but also a variable. My fall and the multiple failing attempts, to rise up to the standards I had once lived by, was a revelation. It opened my eyes to another myth, another perspective about weight gain and loss.
In the book “Fat Loss Forever: How to Lose Fat and Keep it Off” by Layne Norton and Peter Baker, the authors explain that 90 percent of people achieve great results at losing weight. Most people manage to lose the weight they were targeting; 20 kg, 30 kg, or even more. The saddest part though is that more than 85 percent of these people gain back the weight. Some may even gain more weight than before they started their weight loss journey.
Against the belief of many, losing weight is the easiest part of the journey, even though it is hard and challenging, and many give up halfway. But once people overcome the physical, psychological or emotional hurdles, push themselves and embark on the journey, decrease their food intake and exercise regularly, they eventually achieve the desired results. There is no art in it.
However, there is more perspective to weight loss than just the process of losing it. Once you stop dieting and proceed with your life as you once did, you will gain back the weight. Despite its obviosity, most people are oblivious to the fact that maintaining weight loss is harder than losing it in the first place. To lose the weight and keep it off, one has to change the habits that caused gaining it in the first place. Albert Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” That also applies to maintaining weight loss.
Thus, to maintain weight loss people have to change their old lifestyle and adopt a new one, with new habits and patterns, not just physical but also mental, spiritual and emotional. Mental health is an important factor that plays a major role in organizing our lives and maintaining our physical and emotional wellbeing. It helps us accept ourselves and prevents us from comparing ourselves with others. It is also what keeps our sanity despite social
media. It is what protects us from getting caught in the loop that drives us back to our old bad habits. Once we are back to the old habits, we will gain the weight we lost and maybe more.
Unfortunately, fat cells are always active. They shrink, but they never disappear. Once you lose weight, fat cells shrink. When you start eating again, they enlarge and become more active, just like a person who had been starved for days would behave when you take him to an open buffet. Once you start feeding them, and in fear of being starved again, fat cells will multiply quickly to store more body fat, resulting in more weight gain. This is one of the reasons why the yo-yo diet is a disaster. Yo-yo dieting is the process of dieting to lose weight, gaining it back, then dieting agan to lose it, and repeating the process over and over again. It has long term harmful results on the body.
For this reason, changing your style and eating habits is all you need to live a normal life, achieve results without killing yourself in the gym, starving and depriving yourself from eating the food you like. Small changes over time add up, and by accomplishing them, you will live a much better life, a happier one with less stress and anxiety. It is better to lose 10 kg over a period of one year than in a month. This gives you plenty of time during which you can eat properly without having to starve. You will be surprised at how much more you can enjoy life consuming 1900/2000 calories per day instead of 1000/1200. Obviously, the progress of weight loss slows down, but this gives you the chance to eat a variety of food, add more carbs, more protein, more fat.
When I adjusted my calorie intake to 2300/2500 per day, that gave me the opportunity to enjoy life better, go out with my friend for dinners, and at the same time lose weight slowly, and enjoy the process rather than being frustrated about it. I did not deprive myself from food, just reduced my portions. I paid attention to what I ate and watched how I consumed my calories. If I surpassed 2500 calories in a day, the following day I dropped the calories to 2000 or 2100, but that was it. That is the whole concept.
I do not want to be eating salads until eternity. I do not want to fast for 10 hours and then eat only salads and proteins for two hours, without carbs. Two weeks of this routine can wear you out, guaranteed. You will eventually lose it, you will mess up a day and before you know it, you have gained more weight than when you started the diet.
You lose the momentum not because you are a loser or a failure, but because this is not a normal life to live. It is as simple as that. If you can manage to live it for a month or two (I lived it for four years), you will not be able to live it for 30 or 40 years. And even if you could sustain it for this long, you will not be living a normal life. I am not talking here about people who this lifestyle is their normal, I am talking about people who are struggling with their weight. With continuous dieting, you will lose your hair because your body is not receiving the right amounts of nutrients it needs. It will also increase your anxiety and stress and leave you miserable at times. Moreover, continuous dieting will drop your productivity, due to the exhaustion from excessive exercise and nutrients deficiency. This will negatively affect and impact your work, health, social life and relations.
Losing weight and maintaining it is first and foremost a lifestyle that one has to work hard to acquire and maintain. Remember, it is your body, your journey, your life. Others have different lives and jobs than you. They do not have your variables either. It is unrealistic and unfair to compare yourself to anyone else. You have to accept yourself for who you are. It is also important to understand and believe that being overweight or obese does not make you a bad person, or that your life sucks. It only indicates that you need small changes and adjustments in your life, that in time, and with patience and perseverance will show great results.
The most valuable lesson I have learned throughout my transformational journey to date is that small changes over a longer period of time achieve better and sustainable results than trying to accomplish big changes over a short period of time. Big changes and quick results did not last. It became inevitable that I had to have midcourse corrections, and approach my next phase with a new strategy. Losing weight is no longer my long-term plan, but rather sustaining the weight loss and living a healthy life. Without the stress and anxiety of dieting, I am more focused, more productive. I eat better. I eat whatever I want. I go out with my friends. And I lost most of the weight I gained and I am maintaining it. I don’t have six packs yet, but believe me when I say I am much happier. In brief, I feel good.
That is what should be done. No one journey fits all. The longer we travel, the journey unfolds and evolves.
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